This is advice that comes from years of experience.  Please remember that signing the marriage license is the legal portion of the wedding ceremony.  Marriage is a civil, religious, and legal occasion.  The marriage license must be signed and witnessed in order for the marriage to be legal.  On more than one occasion, a couple has forgotten to bring the license to the ceremony.  A few times they have had to send someone an hour away to get the license and bring it back to the venue.  This is uncomfortable for the couple and causes everyone to have to wait, the officiant, the photographer, the witnesses, and, causes an interruption in the reception.

By bringing the Marriage License early, your wedding Pastor can also sign his part before the ceremony begins.  I often fill in my portion of the license before the ceremony begins.  This saves a few moments after the ceremony when the couple, the best man and maid of honor, and the photographer all gather to sign the license.  It allows the photographer to begin taking photos right away.

So, save yourself some anxiety on your wedding day by bringing your Marriage License to your rehearsal.  You can thank me later, and you can sit back and enjoy the stress in the faces of your friends when they forget to bring theirs.  Just kidding.

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We have all seen the bride or the groom who were overcome with emotion, or alcohol, and began weeping uncontrollably during the ceremony.  Actually, I see the groom cry more often than the bride.  That is one of the last things I tell the groom before the ceremony begins.  We have also seen brides or grooms faint during the wedding ceremony.  Perhaps you have seen it on TV.  But nobody wants to be seen fainting on the wedding video.

There is a simple answer.  In one word, “breathe.”  I tell the couples that if they feel they are going to “tear up” then they should slow down, take a deep breath and then proceed.  What happens is that as we begin to “tear up” our chest gets tense, we get a knot in our throat, we stop breathing and we begin to cry to release the tension.  Slow down, breathe, and proceed.  The same advice for feeling “light headed.”  It also helps to not lock your knees.

One other piece of advice is to avoid alcohol.  Alcohol can make a person feel more emotional and less inhibited.  It can cause some people to feel sick in their stomach.  Believe me, you don’t want someone in your wedding party to throw up during your well planned, beautiful wedding ceremony.  I have seen it more than once.  So don’t serve alcohol before the ceremony, or at least limit it.  You will be glad you did.

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There are two sets of wedding vows in the wedding ceremony.  The first set of vows are the “I do” vows.  The minister says the vows, which are a set of questions, “Do you…”  The groom answers, “I do.”  And then the bride.  This is usually pretty easy to do.

The second set of vows in the wedding ceremony is the ring vows.  They are the “repeat after me” vows.  The wedding pastor says, “Place this ring on the wedding finger of your bride and repeat after me.”  The groom then places this sparkling solitaire on the finger of his bride and looks directly at the minister.  WRONG.  Please, look at the bride.  Of course, the bride should look at the groom.

It is very natural to look at someone when they are speaking to you.  However, keep in mind what you are doing.  The wedding officiant is saying the vows for you to repeat.  You are saying them to your bride or your groom.  So look at the person you are speaking to.

Now for some reason, the guys are more often guilty of this than the girls.  The guys have more of a tendency to look at the minister, while the brides tend to look into the eyes of their husbands. 

I think the reason is that the groom, who usually goes first, is often more focused on “not messing up.”  So he looks at the minister so he can get all the words right.  It is for this reason that I always use “short phrases.”

I always try to address this issue before the ceremony with both the bride and the groom.  If we get to the “repeat after me” vows and the groom places the sacred ring on his bride’s finger and looks directly at me, I will say my first line while looking at the groom, and then very deliberately turn to look directly at the bride, hoping he will get the message.  Usually this works and he will begin looking at her while listening to me.  I tell them both ahead of time that if, for some reason, they do not hear the phrase, or if their mind wanders and they just miss it, to look at me and I will repeat it.  No problem.

It will make you and your spouse both feel very special and valued as you look deeply and adoringly into their eyes while your expressing your love and commitment for a lifetime.  It is a small thing, but it can make a big difference.

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There are several real climactic moments in a wedding.  When the Groom slips the gleaming gem on his bride’s finger is one of those moments.  Another high moment is the “first kiss.”  Most often, there is a thunderous applause when the couple kisses.

The most climactic moment is when the wedding officiant presents the couple as Mr. and Mrs. for the first time.  This comes at the very end of the ceremony and is always a cause for real enthusiastic applause.  

Here is the actual process I use.  First, I remind the Bride to take her flowers. Then, I ask the couple in a very soft voice to turn and face the audience.  I will then say in an enthusiastic voice, “Ladies and Gentlemen, I now present to you Mr. and Mrs. John and Jane Jones.”  The crowd erupts.  The music begins and the couple is halfway down the aisle already.  Well, sometimes they are, if they did not listen.

I remind them before the wedding begins to stop after I present them and take it all in.  It is the first time during the entire ceremony when they are actually facing the audience and looking into the faces of their parents, families, and friends.  The natural tendency of people is to be nervous in front of a crowd.  They tend to want to rush down the aisle as swiftly as possible.  Instead, take a few moments and look into the faces of your friends and family, smile, and remember the moment.  Let the music play for a few measures, then look at each other and walk out hand in hand.

Aside from being a good moment for you and your guests.  It is also a very perfect opportunity for photos.  Your entire wedding party is present and in place and you are all facing the same direction.  So, think about it.  Discuss it ahead of time.  And don’t let your nerves take over and ruin what could be a very special moment.

Technorati Tags: presentation of the couple, wedding ceremony, wedding day, wedding tips, wedding vows